Liberal? I’d Rather Be Called An Alcoholic

I knew it was a mistake for me to post some of my political opinions on Facebook. I did it anyway.

I knew it would attract unwanted political rants from friends and others, and I was right. They posted their thoughts, along with a few other folks I’ve never met or heard of, and of course the thread strayed very far from my original message.

That’s not the part that irks me.

I now have a label. It seems that if I’m not verbally attacking the President of the United States, I must be a “liberal.” And if I’m a liberal, I must love some things and hate other things, right? If I don’t refer to the President by a derogatory nickname or denigrate his policies, I must therefore love gun control, Fascism, and Planned Parenthood, right?

Let’s all just take a breath for a moment, please. BREATHE. That’s right, it’s OK to just pause before responding and getting all worked up.

It should surprise no one that we have so many labels for everything around us. We are conditioned for that. Our society demands it, and the conditioning happens in the many messages we are bombarded with every day. The “news” we see and hear is accompanied by opinions, innuendoes, misinformation, disinformation, hate speech disguised as passionate rhetoric, soundbites, and news headlines.

We label because we are conditioned to think and speak in soundbites. Our collective attention span has diminished to the point that we can’t entertain thought for more than a few seconds. We express ourselves thusly.

The truth is, our world doesn’t fit into soundbites, and neither do you, and neither do I. It’s OK to respect yourself by allowing deeper consideration of ideas and people and things. It is better than OK to appreciate the complexity of people, what we think and feel, and how we behave.

The label you are using is shorthand for something that may be true, partially true, or mostly untrue. It is modern-day Newspeak and it it fails completely. It lacks nuance and context, and it does a great disservice to our natural ability to appreciate depth, contingencies, exceptions, legitimate contrary opinions, degrees of difference or shades of gray.

Now, if you are still tempted to argue what “liberal” means, you are simply proving my point. You are way back there, stuck on a label, while I’m getting my point across about how simplistic labels are and how they lack true description and meaning. Labels don’t serve you; they are making you stupid.

I wouldn’t mind being called a “liberal” if I were sure that everyone knows what that means—but not everyone does. It’s simply a way for us all to nod our heads knowingly and move on to another subject. It’s so much easier not to think, isn’t it?

You can call me by all the labels that are true and I won’t lift a finger to sue you: alcoholic, musician, Rosicrucian, short, obstinate, hypnotist, and divorced. But if you call me a “liberal” you are ignoring my natural ability to think, change, and grow.

You can give me a label that I really never wanted, but then of course you will be demonstrating your ignorance of who I am, who I can be, and who I might become.

Ah, modern communication. Gotta love it!

That’s enough for now. Maybe I’ll turn on the radio and listen to some conventional, widely-accepted, standardized hate speech for awhile, just so I’ll know what to expect on my Facebook page in the next few hours.

The Power of THREE

Here’s how you can sharpen your writing and your speaking:

Use the Power of Three!

The subconscious mind loves threes, for some reason, and we hypnotists know this, which is why we love to speak in threes. It’s hypnotic. Plus, it just sounds and feels very comfortable to hear words and phrases that are grouped in threes.

Do this: When you are speaking or writing, or if you should happen to Become a Certified Hypnotist in one of my classes this year, write your hypnotic scripts to contain the Power of Three.

Using the Power of Three is simple, it’s easy, and it’s highly effective. See what I did right there? Let me try it again: I bet that with practice I can do it easily, effortlessly, and effectively. There, I added alliteration. I think that you can learn to do this even more effectively because you have wonderful inner resources, you have great motivation to succeed, and you have proven your intelligence many times in your life. Did you count that time?

This technique is used all the time by lawyers and sales people, among many others who use influence and persuasion. Three is the perfect number when presenting choices. With one item there is no choice, and with two, the binary option seems too limiting. Four or more would be confusing. Three is just right! Next time you are presented with a selection of three, notice that the third and last will seem like the best choice. That might be because it is positioned there for you to select it as best.

Here’s a list of common phrases and words that illustrate the Power of Three. Notice the familiarity, and the ease with which your ear and mind absorb them:

This, that, and the other
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow
Past, present, future
Lights, camera, action!
Shake, Rattle & Roll
Me, myself, and I
Beg, borrow, or steal
Spindle, fold, or mutilate
Lock, stock, and barrel
Ready, willing, and able
Ready, aim, fire
Ready, set, go
Ready on the left, ready on the right, ready on the firing line
Left, right, and center
Win, place, show
Win, lose, or draw
Snap! Crackle! Pop!
Turn on, Tune In, Drop Out
Stop, drop, and roll
Stop, look, and listen
Reading and writing and ‘rithmetic
Lions and tigers and bears (oh my!)
Red, white, and blue
Rare, medium, well-done
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Good, better, best
Good, bad, or indifferent
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Famous trios:
Moe, Larry, and Curly
Groucho, Harpo, and Chico
Manny, Moe, and Jack
Huey, Dewey, and Louie
Kukla, Fran, and Ollie
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod
The Tin Man, the Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion
Athos, Porthos, and Aramis (The Three Musketeers)
Melchior, Gaspar, Balthazar (The Three Wise Men, Three Kings, or Magi)
The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit

Dream Interpretation and “Dream Analysis”

If you seek help to interpret and understand your dreams, consider this: Your subconscious language is not a universal language. Your images, associations, memories, and feelings are unique to you.

Your subconscious has been growing with you all the time, learning and growing, and running the show in collaboration with each and every cell in your entire body. To a very big extent, your subconscious mind is a function of your brain, and almost completely influenced by the physical and physiological structure of your entire being. I’m not making this up–go ahead and look up the recent neuroscience research. What your subconscious knows and acts upon is a highly individual experience. No one else in the world has experienced Life the way you do.

When you dream during sleep, the images and all other sensory experiences have meanings that only you can interpret, because your subconscious assigns meanings, and your subconscious is unique.

My training and experience have taught me that there are no experts regarding dream interpretation. I am highly suspicious of any person, book, or authority that assigns universal meaning to anything as it may appear in a dream. No other person can claim to know what a cloud means to you, or a chair or a book—especially if you have had significant experience in a particular area of Life.

I can help you to interpret your dream. I do this sometimes with clients. But I only help you to discover, using a context of understanding the purpose, nature, and function of dreaming. I also rule out physiological causes. We all know that your dreams can be particularly bizarre if you have a fever or other kind of illness. Some kinds of dreams are easily explained by recent stress or trauma.

I would never in a million years tell you what your dream means to you. It belongs to you. You created it and experienced it. I wasn’t there. And I wasn’t there through any of your formative years, when your complex mind learned to associate experiences, knowledge, fears and fantasies, over-heard conversations, and scenes from books and movies.

As you go about your quest to understand dreams and dreaming, caveat emptor. “Let the buyer beware.” You may be comforted to hear some affirmations, but how can your dream “interpreter” know your subconscious language?

More thoughts from a Hypnotist

Happy New Year, my Friends!

I recently conducted my 800th client session, and my busy season is in full-swing. Here are a few things I’ve learned over the last few years, shared with you if you have any interest…

See the world the way your client sees the world.

It’s not what we say; it’s what they hear.

Learn to listen, REALLY LISTEN to every client, and get to the heart of the matter.

Motivation and leverage are what get things done. Make sure you understand the client’s motivations and use them to help them spring forward. Your reasons and motivations for change have nothing to do with your client’s experience. It’s all about empowering the client.

It takes awhile to get good at this. Keep going!

Keep meticulous client records of what you do in each session, and study them.

Track your business. Know how much you are earning and spending, including income taxes. Know the number of clients, sessions, and clinical hours that you are accumulating. Take note of trends.

Manage your client’s expectations. It’s not likely that every client will become 100% successful after one session, but if they can get 20% success and they see the evidence of their success, they will be encouraged to keep going. Small successes lead to greater success.

You need not terminate a client after one or two or three sessions. If they want more support, give it to them. Allow them to be successful.

Clients will have varying degrees of success. There are reasons for this and we know what the reasons are. Sometimes a client will do better at a different time of day, or different time in their lives. Sometimes they are too resistant or fearful of change. Sometimes we need to find the right approach or technique.

Every client has resistance, skepticism, doubt, denial to some degree. As long as their willingness is stronger than their resistance, we’re in business.

It takes awhile to get good at this. Keep going!

Educate your client that they have to take responsibility for themselves. Give them some homework to do for this process to be highly effective. This is why you need LOTS of tools in your toolbox. It’s your responsibility to help them find the tools that are best for them.

Go to classes and conferences, seek out your colleagues and get together with them to discuss ideas and talk shop. Create a study group or symposium. Internet is valuable, but showing up in person and participating with others is more powerful.

Read all of the classic hypnosis texts and try out every tool that you come across. I’m willing to share my reading list with you.

Take advantage of World Hypnotism Day and use it to promote what we do. It’s just silly not to.

Depth of hypnosis is not as significant as Suggestibility and Receptivity.

Train the subconscious AND the conscious mind. The best, most effective suggestions I give are the very first ones: “We are going to have a magnificent session!” Let your face reflect your conviction and passion, give it some energy, and your clients will be influenced by your enthusiasm and confidence.

Learn and master at least five or six inductions: Progressive Relaxation, Ericksonian, Confusion, Rapid, Progressive Neuro-muscular, Arm Raising, etc. Master them so that you can induce hypnosis without reading a script, and be able to combine them and improvise as necessary.

It takes awhile to get good at this. Keep going!

Always include suggestions for well-being.

“Don’t take the credit, don’t take the blame.”

Click here to go to my Facebook business page.

A Few Words About My Credentials and Background

A question just came up about my credentials. Here is my answer:

My academic background is in Communication and I have a Master’s Degree in Communication and Information Studies from Rutgers University, New Jersey, US. My interest at the time of my early studies was in Organizational Communication and that was also the subject of my dissertation. I eventually began to study interpersonal communication and relationships. At this time in my career and studies I am interested in intra-personal communication: how a person communicates with the self. How do we manage change? Why is it easy or difficult? What are the processes, how do we learn them, and why do we seek or avoid them?

I began my Hypnosis studies and my private hypnotism practice in 2008. I conduct private sessions, group sessions, and I also provide entertainment in a most respectful way. I am certified by two schools, with about 350 credit hours of training. I attend two international hypnosis conferences every year and this year I was honored to teach seminars and a workshop at both. I also have a school, the Open Mind Institute of Hypnosis where I certify professionals. My current project and quest is to have my school approved by the State of New Jersey.

To date, I have conducted more than 750 sessions and approximately 1,400 clinical hours. I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, or psychologist and I do not conduct psychotherapy sessions. I do not diagnose, treat, heal, or cure. My specialties are Stress & Anxiety Reduction, Smoking Cessation, Weight Loss, and Dealing with Chronic Pain. I refer to and consult other professionals all the time, such as doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, attorneys, massage therapists, chiropractors, acupuncturists, registered dietitians, and law enforcement as a way to help my many clients. I work within the law at all times and I adhere to the Code of Ethics of my profession.

My clients include people from all walks of life including doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, and just about every kind of holistic practitioner you can think of—and we refer clients to each other and I am always willing to exchange services. I am happy to say I have never turned down a client in need, although several times I have declined to work with medical and psychiatric issues, referring them to other professionals for more appropriate care.

If you would like to know more, just give me a call, I am always happy to talk about what I do. You are also welcome to schedule a free consultation with me, over the phone or in my office. Yes, FREE. I have 20-30 minutes on certain days. I will answer all of your questions and I will not pressure you to make an appointment. My most successful clients are intelligent people who want to improve, and they come forward when they are ready to begin.

My Facebook page is here: http://www.Facebook.com/TranceFormationHypnosis

Self-Hypnosis and Visualization

Now that the New Year is fully underway, let me ask: How are you doing with your New Years Resolutions?  Are they working out?  Let’s go over a few facts that you can use to stay on track or get back on track.

On track or off track, our lives are examples of the Subconscious Mind at work.  Do you know that about 88% of your functioning is motivated by the subconscious?  That’s why you can’t explain some things about your behaviors, and why they seem to be “automatic.”  The part of your mind that runs programs in the background is in charge, and it runs the programs that it thinks are best for you.

Your subconscious does what it thinks is best, including: smoking, overeating, worrying, nail-biting, you name it.  Somewhere along the line, your subconscious learned that these behaviors are “good” and necessary, and it will keep running the programs until it learns to do something else instead. The conscious mind wants to be in charge, though, so it will rationalize and justify so that it can feel it has “decided” what to do.  The conscious and subconscious are in conflict—fertile ground for stress and anxiety.

Here’s how to re-train the subconscious mind:  Get into a comfortable position, sitting or lying, in a safe and secure environment.  Allow your mind to relax along with your body.  Concentrate on the rhythm of your breathing until body and mind relax and it seems as if you are in a daydream state.  With practice, you will be able to achieve this state at will, in just a few seconds.  At the point that you go into this state, visualize your desired state as clearly and imaginatively as possible.  See yourself, or pretend or imagine that you are doing the desired behaviors and that you have achieved the goal.  Just pretend.  In this highly suggestible state, affirmations are not necessary, because the imagination works faster than the words.  Trust in the immense power of your own suggestibility, and allow your imagination to teach your subconscious how to do something new or different.  Imagine that you are feeling physically energize and contented and just so happy in every cell of your entire body.  Really feel the sensations, and allow them to continue long after your self-hypnosis session is over.  Imagine or pretend that you are allowing yourself to have the best outcome that you can possibly imagine!

When your conscious mind and subconscious mind are pointing in the same direction, you become unstoppable!

If you have any question about self-hypnosis, give me a call!  (732) 272-7230.

Affirmations: The Right Way and The Wrong Way

Affirmations have been around for centuries, dating back to ancient Greek and Egyptian cultures.  We like them, we use them, and we know that they don’t always work.

Affirmations are what I do for a living.  Some people might call them hypnotic suggestions or empowering statements.  There are a million ways to describe the phenomenon; I have my point of view–here it is.

Whatever the desired change is, wherever we are on the spectrum of desire, there is always resistance.  We defend against change.  However much pain or dissatisfaction we have, at the subconscious level we don’t want to change.  Don’t even bother to deny this—remember, I said at the subconscious level.

I can give you a few good ideas about using Affirmations in the best possible way.  For my purposes in service to clients, I use a combination of direct suggestions and indirect suggestions.

First, remember that Affirmations are true statements that we use to re-train the subconscious.  The subconscious accepts some things and rejects other things.  If you want to train your subconscious using the conscious mind technique of repetition that we call Affirmations, try using a series of statements that begin on solid ground, rock-solid truth.

Square One is different for everyone.  Some people can’t begin with “I love my body and my mind” because it isn’t true at the deepest level.  In this case, try, “I am at my best when I love my body and my mind.”  This is an example of a true statement that also serves as an indirect suggestion.

Are you overweight?  If so, it’s possible that your subconscious will reject the Affirmation, “I am a thin person.”  It’s not a true statement, and every cell of your being knows that.  Try this: “I feel so good about myself when I eat sensibly.”

The use of Affirmations is highly effective when you connect the dots from what is fundamentally true to the conditions that you consciously desire.  Beginning with a positive, indirect suggestion such as “I am at my best when I love my body and my mind” is effective because the subconscious is then cued to review what it knows about self-care, self-esteem, Love, and the associated thoughts and emotions.  The mind begins to turn in that direction.  That is entirely necessary, because you will not lose weight unless you change your eating habits and activity level.  Affirmations are a beginning and a support technique—not a panacea or cure-all.

When you begin to have success with “I feel so good about myself when I eat sensibly,” progress to a new Affirmation, such as “My extreme joy is increasing as I am becoming fitter, healthier, and thinner.”  Conjure your positive emotions and feel them wash over you as you repeat the Affirmation!

For the best, most effective use of Affirmations in your daily Life, write them out and word them carefully!  Your subconscious is literal.  Tell it what you want and speak to it as you speak to a child.  Use simple language and shorter statements.  Put your affirmations in order and start at the beginning.

Have a plan.  Begin with the more fundamental statements and have an awareness of your emotions and behaviors becoming more positive over time.  Give yourself some time to allow the changes to take hold.  When you notice the positive changes taking place, change your Affirmations to more direct statements, fine-tuning your direction toward your conscious goal.  Connect the dots.

Remember that your subconscious does not rationalize or analyze; however, it has beliefs and it is quite dug into what it knows, and it will resist change.  My personal favorite method is to use Affirmations in combination with Self-Hypnosis for faster and more effective change.  Hypnotism goes right to the heart of a belief and it can deal with the resistance instantly and profoundly.

One more point, and this is very important:  Affirmations and Hypnotism are no substitute for expert medical or psychiatric care.  Persistent physical, mental, and emotional symptoms might be an indication of a condition that is best dealt with by a qualified health-care professional.  I have many such qualified professionals in my network and I regularly refer my clients to them in order to rule out serious conditions.  I am at my professional best when I work as part of a team that includes my Client, myself, and other qualified providers who might be needed.

Once you rule out any serious indications, let your subconscious mind take over and watch the changes taking place in your Life!

“Hypnosis” Is Just A Word

Some people are just too funny.  I often have to suppress a giggle.  It’s not that I am inclined to laugh at them; it’s that the ideas they express in ignorance are funny.  I don’t think I’m superior to anyone, and ignorance isn’t funny to me.  Ignorance is simply the state of not knowing something, or inexperience.  It isn’t an insult.  No one knows everything.

I love it when the uninitiated think I can get control of their minds and “make” them do things such as quack and wag their tails.  Why aren’t they more concerned that I can make them detail my car and paint my dining room?

Or the belief that I can find out their secrets.  The secrets that I’ve already heard from conscious, earnest clients up to this point would probably disappoint most voyeurs.  I’m afraid that there’s nothing there that I haven’t experienced myself, or seen someone among my family or friends go through.  No, most deeply-guarded secrets are not so scandalizing, at least to me.  And the imagination is not stranger than Real Life.

A lot of people tell me they can’t be hypnotized.  Fair enough!  If they dig in with stubborn resistance, there’s no way anyone can hypnotize them or even persuade them to sit in my office.

And among clients who willingly submit to the process, sometimes I have trouble keeping a straight face.  One gentleman, who admirably came in to let me help him quit smoking, explained that he enjoys smoking a joint with his wife most nights.  He’s not an addict; he uses it the way some people enjoy having a drink at the end of the day.  He asked, “can you make me quit cigarettes but still let me smoke pot?”  The answer is YES!  Tobacco and mary jane are two totally separate things–and one was desired and the other despised by the client.  The mind will have no confusion there.

But ignorance is also detrimental.  If a person will hold to erroneous beliefs, I won’t be able to show them how wonderful hypnosis is, and what it can do for them.  I won’t be able to share this gift with them.  They will never learn that all hypnosis is self-hypnosis, and what they get from me is a new skill that they can use, on their own, for the rest of their lives for many issues that will arise.  It’s like getting an Owner’s Manual for the mind!

Lastly, here’s something I like to point out at the beginning of every session: Hypnosis is just a word.  It describes a very natural state of mind that everyone enters into and out of, many times every day.  Whatever that state is, we can learn to use it and control it to a great degree.  Once we learn to manage that state, we learn that it is the key to the most powerful parts of our minds.  It is the way to align all the parts of mind and body, and the way to becoming unstoppable!

Talk To Me

Talk To Me

In the hypnotism part of sessions with clients, I do most of the talking.  Sometimes we have a simple conversation, but that’s rare.  Usually clients answer some questions with very short answers.  Depending on the depth of the trance, they may not say anything.

Feedback is essential.  During the trance I always test my clients’ depth by observing their responses to certain suggestions.  At the lightest level of trance they will lose control of simple motor functions.  At the deepest levels they will experience hallucinations and negative hallucinations (not seeing something that is there).  I always test.

The feedback I need is immediately after the trance.  I want to know what their experience was like for them, if they were comfortable, if there was any idea or impulse or memory they want to talk about.  I want to know whatever impressions they had that they might want to talk about.  I want to know what hypnosis was like for them.

I don’t ask these things out of curiosity; I ask because the information is essential to their success, and to the way I will conduct the next trance session.  For example, if I know what their individual idea of hypnosis is, I can suggest it to them and they will be able to slip into that state more easily and quickly.  Their answers to my questions also reveal whether I went too quickly or too slowly of if they need concrete or more accurate instructions and descriptions.  Sometimes they pick up on subtleties that I miss, because they are extremely attentive to certain details while in the trance state.

I won’t know most of this information if I don’t ask, because during hypnosis they are sitting passively in a chair, physically relaxed.  Of course, there are many signs that I can see: rapid eye movement, changes in breathing, especially in response to suggestions of physical relaxation, abreactions, fidgeting, etc.

Abreactions are physical movements in response to suggestions.  They can vary in intensity, and they are always significant and must be explored if the client is to be successful.  I always ask about physical reactions, because I need to know what was going on at that time.  It may have been their subconscious reacting in some way–or they might have been physically cold or uncomfortable.  It’s essential that I find out more, so I can help them succeed in the best possible way.

Sometimes certain words or phrases are distracting to them because they remind them of specific situations.  I like to snap my fingers as a cue, but some clients are startled by that, so I’ll do something else such as a gentle knock on my wooden desk.

Feedback closes the loop of communication with my client.  A few simple explanations and descriptions from them help me to understand what to do differently in order that they achieve what they set out to do!

Why Hypnosis?

Every week I get telephone calls from people who want to know what hypnosis is and what it can do for them.  Here are some common questions:

What is Hypnosis? It’s a state of mind in which judgment and critical analysis are suspended, and a person is then able to fully consider and accept new beliefs that agree with what they consciously want from Life.  Hypnosis is similar to daydreaming, in that the mind becomes open and one becomes less aware of physical sensations and current surroundings.   In a state of hypnosis, the subconscious mind becomes open to learning new ways of dealing with Life, Health, and problems of living.  All hypnosis is self-hypnosis, and we naturally go in and out of it many times every day.

What happens during a session? Typically, the client and I have a brief conversation about what they would like to change.  Once we establish confidentiality, trust, and agreement, we then proceed into trance.  The client sits passively as I lead them.  I look for signs such as breathing patterns, rapid eye movement under closed eyelids, head movement, and other physical responses to suggestions.  I make sure that the client is hypnotized rather than just physically relaxed.  The effects of hypnotic suggestions can be as subtle as numbness or as dramatic as hallucinations.  The client remains calm and relaxed, knowing that all is well and that they are in control at all times.  At the end of the session, the client feels energized, rejuvenated, and satisfied that their mind has learned new ways to deal with situations.

How do I know hypnosis is working for me? This is the best part!  We know hypnosis is working when your behavior changes without conscious thought or explanation.  When I follow up with clients a few days after the session, they report that they simply forgot to smoke or over-eat, or that they just didn’t want to.  They usually don’t have a conscious explanation for the change.  The effect of hypnosis is that the mind has been re-trained to pay attention to new, desired thoughts and behaviors, and away from the old.  Hypnosis is so effective that clients sometimes don’t understand the results—yet they feel a great sense of joy and freedom.

Why Hypnosis? Because it can help you change your mind in a very short time.  There are other ways, of course, and you know what they are: Willpower, discipline, meditation, journaling, etc.  I advocate Hypnosis because it is a shortcut to the subconscious and it works!

A word about seeking help…

Therapist – A person who has special qualifications in dealing with and managing emotional problems.

Many certified professionals don’t have those qualifications.  They can still provide valuable assistance, keeping in mind that some clients need a team that may include qualified psychologists, psychotherapists, coaches, doctors, dentists, chiropractors, acupuncturists, attorneys, and other professionals trained in specific areas.

Seek help from qualified professionals who have proper training and experience in their fields.