I am an expert about my own sense of Spirituality.  This is something I think about quite a lot and I am comfortable in my own beliefs.  I don’t teach what I believe and I don’t ask anyone to go along with it.  What I believe can’t possibly harm anyone.  What you believe has nothing to do with me.  I might be interested in your beliefs at some level, but I think talking about religious beliefs is like talking about shoe size—we each have opinions, beliefs, attitudes, and inclinations that we did not consciously choose or adopt, yet here they are.

One of my beliefs is that God is an invention.  I think we made up God as a way to find comfort in trying to explain unexplainable things, and understand unknowable things.  I have seen no evidence of God.  I have felt powerful emotions and thoughts and I associate them with profound learning and personal growth.  If you insist that those things are evidence of God, I won’t argue with you.   How can I?  Lots of people have told me that the amazing natural beauty of the world, and Life itself, is proof that God exists.

God, to me, is the system of order in the Universe.  Some people might call it Mother Nature, or The Way Things Are.  It’s what is at play when we say All Things Happen For A Reason, or Everything Always Works Out For The Best.  I agree with the previous two statements.  We might not understand the reason or see that the best thing happened, but that’s because the Universe is vast and we can’t possibly comprehend the many workings from our earthly perspective.

I can’t prove that reincarnation exists, but it makes sense to me.  I think it explains differences in native intelligence, natural capabilities, and déjà vu.  I have conducted Past Life Regression sessions with clients, and it is always a powerful experience for them.

Regarding Spirituality and my profession of Hypnosis, my beliefs matter.  It is my belief that I am at my best when I love my clients and have a high regard for them.  I keep clients at a professional distance, but I still treat them with Love and caring, deference, and respect for their spiritual and religious beliefs.  I get to know something about how they see the Universe, and we use that as leverage to help them change and improve and develop.

I believe in people, that people are basically good, and that I can find and attract goodness by being a good person and behaving in a loving way as much as I can.  I believe that God (as I define it) acts upon me and that it’s up to me to pay attention and act accordingly and consciously to improve the world around me.  I believe that the more I do this, the richer my Life becomes, and I improve my ability to inspire others.  I believe I am getting better, and everyone can.

I believe that evil exists in human nature, and that we all have the potential to produce evil.  I believe that human potential can go in any direction and all directions.  I don’t believe evil exists anywhere else except among intelligent beings.  I don’t believe there is good or evil in the food chain, animals preying upon other animals.  I don’t believe that death is sad—I think loss is sad, and murder is sad.  (Murder is a legal term; some forms of homicide are sad, but not all, depending on circumstances.)

I believe in a higher order, Universal Law, hierarchy of standards, and righteousness.

I believe in Universal Healing Energy and that it can’t be fully understood or explained, and to me it is God.  God, the Universal system of order, energy, and healing is at work all the time, within us and around us.

I believe my views are extremely limited.  There are so many things I have not experienced: famine, abject poverty, extreme losses and grief, acute or terminal diagnosis and illness, major surgery—how can I know what it’s like to have my faith tested when those things happen?  When I hear people talking about their experience with such things, I realize that I am a novice in Life even at my mature age.

I believe that God is there for me at all times, and I can tap into that power at anytime, and that whatever I learn in this Life I will carry with me into the next one.  I believe that I am carrying things from previous existences, and not all of those things are helpful or true.

I think we all have choices and we make choices, and the human condition is to make mistakes—lots of mistakes.

I believe in me, and I believe in you.

I believe that you become stronger whenever you consider your own Spirituality, or your decision to turn away from it, and the most natural thing in the world is to ignore it completely and behave as if there are no such things as miracles.  I think it is up to us to grab onto optimism and cheerfulness, hope, forgiveness, patience and tolerance, compassion, understanding, faith, and everything else that goes under the heading of LOVE.

To me, all of those things are God, and God is Love.

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There’s a lot to say about D-Day, WWII, the “Greatest Generation,” and the military through the ages, but this year I just want to say a few things about Combat!

Combat! was a TV show that ran for five seasons, 1962-1967. It centered on the experiences of one squad, beginning on D-Day.  They land at Omaha beach and then begin fighting their way across France.  The squad is continually faced with missions that turn out to be challenging and tough, with not quite enough resources to do the job, and replacements who have more experience as cooks and grease monkeys rather than infantry combat.

I can’t really explain why I got hooked on this show recently.  There are a few reasons for me to be uninterested: I’ve never been in the military and I’m (mostly) a pacifist.  I don’t agree with all U.S.foreign policy and I strive to understand why the people of some foreign nations dislike us.  Even so, I think this is show is terrific and it grips my imagination.  I began watching it from the beginning and I’m now in Season 3.

Maybe it’s because of all the change and turmoil that’s been going on inside me and around me for the last few months.  Maybe it’s because I really want to be more like Sgt. Saunders.  Maybe it’s because I appreciate the solidarity of the squad and their loyalty to Saunders, Lt. Hanley, and each other.  Maybe it’s because these are men who don’t sit around and complain and whine about their feelings.  These men get the job done and watch out for each other while at the same time demanding a lot from each other.  Some themes are constant: they don’t leave wounded behind, they fight with incredible spirit, they protect those who are weaker, they don’t abuse prisoners, and they behave with honor at all times.  OK, I guess I just figured out why I love this show.

Combat! does not glorify war.  Many of the episodes are anti-war.  There is a great deal of humanity there—personal stories, drama, some laughs and some satire.  The writers and directors and cast all went deep.  There’s a lot more going on there besides killing.  A lot of the episodes have scenes with very little dialogue, so the actors had to really stretch in order to tell the story.

This was a highly successful, highly acclaimed show in its day, with a great many guest-stars who went on to greater fame later on, and a few great episodes have Robert Duval, James Coburn, Lee Marvin, Beau Bridges, James Whitmore, Rip Torn, Charles Bronson, James Caan, Sal Mineo, Roddy McDowell, Dennis Hopper, Harry Dean Stanton, Keenan Wynn, Warren Oates, and Dean Stockwell—to name just a few.

Watch it on YouTube and other sites.  You can begin at the beginning, or start with one of these great episodes:

A Gift Of Hope ~ Season 3, Episode 11 (December 1, 1964)

The Duel ~ Season 3, Episode 4 (October 6, 1964)

The Bridge at Chalons ~ Season 2, Episode 1 (September 17, 1963)

Please let me know what you think about Combat!  No one in my Life is interested at all, so I would love to be able to talk about this with someone  :-/

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1.       All possibilities are in existence at all times—until you observe them. That’s right, everything is possible at all times unless or until you focus.  Once you settle on one thing and narrow your vision, your possibilities shrink.  It’s like turning at the fork in the road and going along in one direction instead of the other.  The good news is that any of the ‘good’ possibilities can turn out great! Just keep going, keep building. Anytime you open to the infinite, all possibilities occur to you all over again.

2.      The path you picked doesn’t have to be the one you stay on. Remember, all possibilities are in existence at all times.  Although your choice limits your path, new possibilities are created with every new thought, and even more powerfully with each new action.

3. Your subconscious mind remains in contact with limitless possibilities. The greatest thing of all is that you can tap the subconscious by asking the right questions at the right time.  I love hypnosis.  It’s a shortcut that has been known since ancient times.  Here’s how to tap your subconscious today: Formulate your question and craft it as clearly and accurately as you can.  Make sure it’s the right question that is seeking an answer that will be useful. Concentrate on the question.  Now…forget it.  Yes, you read me correctly—forget about it.  Shift your attention to something else.  If you have asked the question clearly and accurately, your subconscious will deliver the answer to you later.  Guaranteed!  (Hey, I didn’t write the warranty on your brain, but I know this much about how it works 🙂 )

Your brain is agile and it loves to work!  The more you test it and challenge it, the more it responds.  You have seen and heard about people who recover from serious brain injuries, and their progress seems fantastic and miraculous—it is! Your brain is fantastic and miraculous, and it’s waiting for some further instruction right now.  Make this a great day!

~

To exercise and increase your possibilities and play with your neuro-plasticity, go to TEDxNavesink on May 10 at the Two Riv in Red Bank: http://tedxnavesink.com/play

To find out more about Hypnosis and Your Brain, go to www.TranceFormationHypnosis.com

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Anxiety, stress, nervousness, insecurity are fancy words for one thing: Fear.  It’s true that these words are not exactly interchangeable, but we use them to indicate the same thing: We’re uncomfortable at some level. These things detract from Quality of Life.

As a Hypnotist and Inspirationist, there are questions that drive me forward.  How do we deal with our fears in an effective way that can be permanent?  Why is it that when we are distracted away from our concerns, they don’t matter at all? How will my Life change when I become more relaxed and less tense?

That last question is a good one to ask someone when they are stressed.  When they answer that question they can reveal things about their goals, values, vision—or their lack of clarity in these areas.  This is also a good way for them to begin to assess their situation.

Every child knows how to lie back in the grass and watch the clouds go by, on a beautiful day, without a care in the world.  At some point, we grow older.  Jobs, school, responsibility, family, career,a diagnosis, a knock at the door—any of these things can change your Life’s direction on a dime.  Either suddenly or gradually, we start to tense up somewhere, in mind and body, and we forget what it’s like to watch the clouds drift by.

There are a number of great ways to re-learn or remember or to practice watching the clouds go by. In fact, ACTUALLY LYING DOWN AND WATCHING THE CLOUDS GO BY is an excellent way to relax!  Why don’t we do that?  Maybe because it seems so simple and we think that the complex of anxiety requires a complex solution.  It does not. It only requires some practice.

OK, so let’s say you can’t let go of tension.  There’s only one reason for that: you are attached to it.  Maybe there is some secondary benefit to you being tense. Maybe you’ve been hanging onto it for a long time and it’s an ingrained habit.  Here’s the thing: as long as you hang onto it, you practice being tense, and you become really, really good at it.  An expert.  A real professional!

How to stop doing that? A hypnotist would never suggest, “Stop doing that.”  We know better. Instead, we train you to do something else.

When you become generally more relaxed, you’re still you.  You live in the same home, drive the same car.  You will laugh at the same jokes.  The difference is that when you relax you begin to make better decisions. Your shoulders go back and down and you naturally begin to release physical tension.  You smile more, or at least frown less.  People around you pickup on this, subliminally, and they become easier with you.  Your Life changes for the better, and that changes your Possible Future.  I’ve seen this happen with many clients, and you can see this happen in your Life.  It just takes practice.

If you need help, get help. Hypnosis is my favorite modality because it’s so simple!  All you need is your own Power of Suggestion.  Practice with relaxation,combined with suggestions for relaxation and integration of your best Internal Resources, and you will get really good at that!  Call me if you have a question.

See you on the other side!

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I am a public speaker, presenter, and teacher.  I speak in front of audiences about 20 times each year and I love what I do.  Underneath the very visible public image, I am a Hypnotist and Inspirationist.  I influence people.  I also teach what I do as a Hypnotist and a presenter.  Every summer, I teach a long workshop for all who want to improve their presentation skills.  Presenting is influencing.  Believe me, I use influential, persuasive, motivational, inspirational language all the time—with clients, audiences, and with the people I love and who love me back.  My entire career is based on communication, language, and linguistics.

Here’s one question that I deal with from my students all the time: “Is cursing during my presentation a benefit or a detriment?”  Here are some thoughts.

For this argument, I will just deal with curse words that are obvious, not borderline; the ones that are squarely in the area of stuff Mom would not want us to say anywhere.  I’m just going to deal with any words or language that we were not permitted to say in classrooms of our youth.  Anything you would not say to a judge in any courtroom to which you are summoned.

Know your audience. Some groups, especially younger people, will appreciate a few curse words.  You might warm them up or get some giggles that way. It also seems to work well with audiences of like-minded people who are bonding over an issue, political stance, or cultural touchstone.  It also seems safer if you are part of your audience’s demographic group.

Know yourself. Don’t do it if any of George Carlin’s Seven Words You Can’t Say On Television don’t naturally roll off your tongue. If you can’t curse as effortlessly as Chris Rock, you won’t fool anyone, so don’t even try.

Know your topic. Cursing might be entirely inappropriate to what you are talking about.  If it seems out of place while you are rehearsing, better to just use the style that fits.

Know your content. Content is not the same thing as topic.  Content includes everything: introduction, jokes, anecdotes, conclusions, assertions, summations, and your style.  If your content can support cursing and if all the other conditions are in your favor, it will probably go over OK.

Don’t use that language as a place-holder or substitute. If you are presenting yourself as an expert speaker, have an expert knowledge of language, jargon, slang, and all parts of grammar.  Don’t pretend by using a few curse words in place of clear language.

It’s never necessary. It may be funny, cool, endearing—or it may not be any of those things.  There are many deciding factors, and you can’t be in control of them at all times.   You can go with the flow, but that flow is collaboration between audience and presenter.

Be present to the Greater Good. If there is anyone in your audience who might be turned off by cursing, why do it?  Why not show consideration, rather than alienation?

Be true to yourself. Always be true to your language and your way of speaking. If you are inclined to curse before your audience, that is an indication of your attitude, and that’s highly visible to everyone. If you feel that your character can be questioned based on your language, then it’s up to you to decide how to express yourself in order to be yourself.

Finally, in just about every case I’ve ever seen by a public speaker who wasn’t a stand-up comedian or actor performing a monologue, cursing went hand-in-hand with uneducated grammar.  If you ever pay money to hear a presenter who uses curses in place of clear language, I hope you will ask for a refund.

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As a Hypnotist and Inspirationist in full-time practice, I often hear my clients talk about “old tapes” and the power they have over thoughts and feelings and habits.  It is a very familiar metaphor that is instantly understood to mean previous conditioning.  They’re “old” tapes because the behaviors continue even though we wish to replace that conditioning with something else.  “Old tapes” have us under their spell.

Here’s a way to train the conscious mind toward change.  This is what I do with clients all the time, and when combined with Hypnosis, it’s very powerful.  We can continue the metaphor of “old tapes” and begin to make that mean something else.  See if you can follow this reasoning…

Old tapes are old because we don’t use audio tape anymore. Nowadays we use digital audio to capture and play back programs.  Here, in the 21^st century, tapes are obsolete.

At one time we thought that program was important, but after using it a million times over the years the tape wore out, and the program is obsolete.  In order to improve things, we can use the modern processes of digitizing and editing and re-mastering in order to update the program into what we want it to be right now.

Digitizing is the process of converting the tape to digital format.

Editing means cutting and revising.

Re-mastering is the art of making it sound better, for use on modern equipment.

Take the “old tape” and convert it to digital, so we can now examine any part of the program instantly.  Now that it is converted, edit and revise by taking out the old stuff.  Take your time with this.  Examine what’s there now and what you want to keep or discard.  Throw away the obsolete parts.  Replace those with your new ideas.  Create new opinions, beliefs, and attitudes and install them into the program.  Now that they are installed, re-master the program to make it sound great.  You can improve the sound by altering the stereo effect to Surround sound, adjusting the equalization (EQ), and even raising all the levels to make the whole thing louder.

All of this is metaphor.  To put it into practical application, spend the day or the next few days observing your own behavior.  Anything that’s automatic is an old tape.  You do things without thinking about them.  Some of them are good and necessary.  The thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that you don’t like are the tapes you will begin to change.  If you need help, get help.  There is no shame in getting help—that’s the smart thing to do!

In order to complete the process, I use self-hypnosis. That’s what I teach my clients, and we practice until it becomes very easy for you to do.  Self-hypnosis begins by removing distractions, so sit or lie still and quietly, and close your eyes.  Create your future way of being in your imagination.  In your mind, create the images, sensations, and emotions that you will have as you are going about your Life in your new way of being.  With practice, you will be able to use this mysterious power at will, with almost no effort.

This art is ancient and was originally practiced and known only to great masters.  Maybe you’ve heard of it.  Some people call it The Secret.  The practice of this art uses an unseen force known as The Law of Attraction.

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You’re reading this because you want a great way to stay positive. You are interested in improving things and developing new ways of being and feeling happy and contented.  Now is the perfect time to do this.  I’m here to install this new idea directly into your mind, and this is a big one.

You’ve heard of vision boards, right?  A vision board is a poster-sized collection of images that illustrate what you want to be / do / have in your Magnificent Future.  The idea is that you gather the images from any source—magazines, typically—then paste them onto a poster board.  You end up with a mind map of images that will influence you to achieve what is indicated in the images that you yourself have selected.  You look at your vision board several times each day, with intention.  You are free to change the images at any time, re-arrange them, or start over from scratch with a brand new board.  I’ve done this.  It’s highly effective.

What if you don’t have the resources at hand and you would like to begin something inspiring right now? Here you go…

Create a flyer for yourself. That’s right, a flyer.  A flyer is an advertisement and an announcement and an invitation.  It’s eye-catching, attractive, Truthful, irresistible, and created for a specific market. And it’s portable!

Make up a flyer that advertises your Fabulous Future. Promise that your Fabulous Future will happen.  Make it sound so juicy that you can’t resist.  Use all the fonts and colors that you love, and make it so gorgeous you must see it several times each day, every day.  Use the language that is so luscious to your eyes and ears.  You want this flyer to be irresistible to you. Create it the way it will be most appealing to you.  Let it be artistically creative.  You may include pictures.  Be an inspiration and positive influence upon yourself!

Your flyer is not a plan or list of goals. It’s an invitation to your future.  It is a welcoming, enticing promise of the wonderful things to come.  It is an advertisement of what you will have when you bring these things into being through your own positive actions.

Print out your flyer and place it where you can see it. It might be private, or it may be something for all to see.  Look at it morning, noon, and night. Check in with it at mealtimes and bedtime.  Share it or shelter it—whichever is best for you.  Begin now.  Your flyer doesn’t have to be perfect or final.  Expect and accept and choose that the information will change over time, as you achieve and learn and grow.

Develop this idea for yourself. Your flyer might turn in to your next book, CD, movie, anime, poem, short story, blog, love letter, or a completely new art form.  Let that idea soar!

Special Bonus Tip: Write a heart-felt letter to yourself about your Fabulous, Magnificent Future, and stamp it and snail-mail it.  When you get it back, open it up right away and give it your full attention as you read.  It came from someone you love!  Don’t want to use snail mail?  Then set up a phone reminder or schedule an e-mailing via Constant Contact or Mail Chimp!

Let me know how you’re doing.  I would love to hear how this works for you as you proceed to your fabulous future.  Feel free to send a note to me at James@TranceFormationHypnosis.com

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I’m not asking WHO are you, I am asking WHAT are You? Ask yourself what you are right now, what you are committed to doing and feeling, and what kinds of ways you are going to be today. I am asking you to ask yourself WHAT will I BE today, and HOW will I be in the world?

The world around you only sees what you do and how you are being. You don’t get points for pure intention, you only get credit (and cred) for what you actually do and for the ways you can be. Examples of ways of being are Happy, Focused, Friendly, Committed, Excited, Passionate, Relentless, etc. (I love etc. It’s the etc. in Life that always gets my juices flowing. Big Time.)

As always, you get to decide how you will be, who you will be, and what you are committed to. You are writing your biography every day. What people will say about you in years to come depends upon what you do and how you are being today and every day. Get committed, and follow through.

Just like Walt Whitman, you contain multitudes. Every human has enormous possibilities for good, bad, and mediocre. If you have ever been courageous, even for a second, you are courageous. If you have achieved anything, you are an achiever. And if you have confidence in any area of your Life, you are confident. You contain multitudes.

Mediocre is easy. Extreme good is difficult because it involves more sacrifice and more risk. I like to deal with outliers because extraordinary is more interesting. Look, you’re going to live this life anyway–why not make it a fabulous life? Why not go down in the history of your world as having been exceptional, great, and inspiring!

In my work with clients, I make it more possible for them to connect to their greatness. I help them gain access to their infinite Best Self and most Confident Courage. With practice, they more easily activate their personal power, and their success multiplies over time. When you get better in one area, you get better in every area of your daily experience. This has been proven thousands of times in client sessions and beyond. (Remember the etc. I mentioned earlier? The etc. is what happens after clients begin their Life’s work with me.)

Write a list of all the things you are. Write down all of your positive characteristics. Don’t leave anything out. Carry the list with you and add to it each and every time you realize new ones. Let this list remind you that You contain multitudes!

You are multi-faceted—own that. This can become a very long list of things that you know about yourself, and this exercise is one more step on your Path of Self-Awareness.

Here’s a sample list of Ways of Being:

Able
Blessed
Clever
Decent
Energetic
Fair
Generous
Hopeful
Improving
Joyful
Kind
Lustful
Motivated
Noble
Optimistic
Passionate
Quintessential
Recovering
Sensual
Tough
Unique
Vibrant
Wacky
Youthful
Zesty

And…

Just so you know…

I am doing this work, too. Every single day. I am committed to being in the game, playing Big all the time, taking it to the limit, pushing the envelope, increasing my capacities, and becoming limitless and containing multitudes. Here is what I am committed to being:

Abundant
Active
Actualized
Adaptable
Adventurous
Alert
Assertive
Attentive
Attractive
Aware
Awesome
Bangin’
Beautiful
Blessed
Brave
Calm
Caring
Cheerful
Clean
Clear
Clever
Colorful
Committed
Complete
Confident
Considerate
Consistent
Courageous
Courteous
Creative
Curious
Decent
Decisive
Developed
Developing
Different
Disciplined
Eager
Emotive
Ecological
Economical
Educated
Elegant
Eloquent
Eminent
Empowered
Energetic
Energized
Engaged
Enormous
Entrancing
Esteemed
Evolved
Excellent
Exceptional
Excited
Exciting
Experienced
Exquisite
Extraordinary
Fabulous
Fair
Fancy
Fascinating
Fit
Flamboyant
Flexible
Focused
Fortunate
Fresh
Friendly
Fun
Funny
Generous
Happy
Healthy
Helpful
Hopeful
Humorous
Hypnotic
Imaginative
Important
Impressive
Improved
Improving
Industrious
Infinite
Influential
Ingenious
Inquisitive
Inspirational
Inspired
Inspiring
Intellectual
Intelligent
Interested
Interesting
Inventive
Irrepressible
Joyful
Kind
Knowledgeable
Limitless
Lovable
Loved
Loving
Magnetic
Magnificent
Masterful
Mature
Memorable
Mesmerizing
Motivated
Muscular
Open
Original
Organized
Outrageous
Outstanding
Patient
Passionate
Playful
Positive
Powerful
Prepared
Present
Productive
Ready
Recovered
Recovering
Relaxed
Released
Remarkable
Resourceful
Rhythmic
Robust
Rockin’
Sanguine
Self-Assured
Sensible
Sensual
Serious
Sexy
Sharp
Showy
Significant
Smart
Smiley
Smooth
Snappy
Sober
Sparkly
Spiritual
Spontaneous
Strong
Studious
Stupendous
Sublime
Superior
Surprising
Stylish
Thoughtful
Tough
Unique
Unstoppable
Unusual
Upbeat
Uplifting
Vibrant
Wacky
Wide-eyed
Wise
Wonderful
Wondrous
Worldly
Zany

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Where do your ideas and inspiration come from? How do you connect the dots and create your desires? Are you aware that your desires are your creations? They don’t come out of nowhere! Do you recognize that your subconscious desires are at the heart of most of the decisions you make, and that your decisions are intentions? No need to ask why things happen in your Life. They happen because you allow them. All possibilities are occurring at all times. We simply allow some and filter others.

I recently came up with a new idea, one that excites me right down to my toenails. I am immersed in developing it with the intention that it will take me to every corner of the galaxy. I expect the development of this idea to create travel, excitement, adventure, learning, Love, friendship, and career success. This is one of the best ideas I’ve ever had.

This causes me to think about You, my friend. What are you thinking about? What do you want from Life? Where are you going, and what do you intend for yourself? How will you influence yourself to move forward, and what positive impact will that have on everyone around you? How are you going to get it all done?

Of course, I have a few ideas about that. That’s what I do. My entire career is about asking questions, finding some answers, sharing them, learning more, celebrating your many successes (large and small), being curious, asking new questions, and keeping it all going. And why not? Isn’t that way more interesting than just letting Life happen? Aren’t you more alive when you set an intention and then bring it into being?

All of your ideas come from the world around you, as well as from your internal world. Your internal world includes all of your past and current experiences; all of your knowledge and information, plus everything you’ve ever gone through and endured. You have saved, in the back of your mind, everything that your senses have encountered for a lifetime, and you have learned from every bit of it. (Your internal world may or may not also include past lives—the jury is still out on that, although reincarnation makes sense to me and I see what I think is evidence of it all the time, everywhere.)

The world around you is very noisy, and it’s been getting noisier every year since the dawn of intelligent humankind. Your external world consists of all communication outside of the communication you have with yourself: conversations, print media including books, magazines, and newspapers, movies, all internet activity, radio, TV, overheard interactions, all human contact and interactions with animals and Nature, all advertising in your sphere, work and career, and conversations with everyone including the most brief and non-verbal with strangers and everyone else. There’s a lot going on out there, and it all matters. All of it plays upon and influences your internal world.

Put the internal and external together, and there’s your source of new ideas, memories, inspiration, influence, motivation, ambition, impressions, learning, success, curiosity, passion, and personal power. You bring your subconscious mind to bear on everything you witness, even the subliminal messages.

As a professional Hypnotist, I know this to be true. I see my clients transform, and I witness my own transformation as I develop my new ideas.

Picture this… An exceptionally handsome master hypnotist is engaging a large audience with the mysterious subject of Hypnosis. He begins to play one or more musical instruments as he describes the hypnotic effect of music. Using various sounds and musical devices, he continues to deepen the trance using only the power of suggestion and the excitement of playing and listening, including the audience’s incredibly sensual ability for music to act upon the physical body in a most pleasant way. The trance concert continues, along with verbal hypnotic suggestions that awaken passion for living, learning, and loving. The audience becomes more receptive with each compounding suggestion, and everyone in the audience internalizes the wisdom and adopts it as their own, increasing their ability to enjoy Life to an even greater degree. Everyone finds their own brand of pleasure in the experience, and they carry it away with them, influencing the lives of everyone around them for the greater good.

Where did this idea come from? It’s been percolating for at least two years. It tried to come to the surface several times, many times. It finally got here with the help of a couple of conversations with some close friends who love and care about me. My sister, who has loved and nurtured me every year of my Life, finally brought it into being in a material way, and I am forever grateful to her for being who she is and allowing me to receive her magnificent way of being.

As I close this blog for now, I suggest that you listen to those thoughts that have been tugging at you for awhile. They are ideas that can help you. One or more of them might even change the course of your Life for the better. Would that be a good thing? Would it make a positive difference in the lives of everyone around you? Think about that for a moment. Become still and quiet.

And listen.

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If you don’t have time to read the entire article, here are the bullet points:

In everyday life, men disregard and disrespect women.
Just because you are bigger or stronger doesn’t mean you’re more powerful.
Women face bias just about everywhere in public.
Give a woman space in all things.
Sexuality isn’t just about sex. It’s about how you handle yourself in all kinds of relationships.

I am not a man who claims to know something about women. That’s not the point of this article, and that is not my claim. I only say that I know a lot about relationships by virtue of education, experience, observation, and some native talent. I say that I’ve had my share of trial and error, mistakes and successes, lessons and qualifications. I only say what I know, and I have as many questions as you have, maybe even more.

I come from a long line of powerful women. My maternal grandmother was a formidable figure in San Antonio, Texas (US). Maria Latigo Hernandez was a political activist and leader, and among many other things she was the first Hispanic woman ever to have a regular radio broadcast in the United States. Her influence is still huge in my family, and there is even a school named in her honor in San Marcos, Texas. She was once honored by the President of Mexico in a public ceremony, and my relatives all still cherish the silver award she received that day.

Maria took nonsense from nobody. Get in her way and you would get trampled. Get on board with her and you would be in for a wildly exhilarating ride that would eventually and always include vindication, validation, and Honor. You would experience the best of community building, improvement districts, supporting and educating the poor, fundraising for a new medical clinic, fighting racism and discrimination and prejudice, and every kind of neighborly support and involvement that you can imagine. Maria taught everyone directly and by example. My mother and her siblings absorbed it all and passed the lessons on to us. As a boy in New York City, I learned many things that have served me well for a lifetime.

Growing up with powerful women meant learning respect, because powerful women know how to insist upon it and accept nothing less. I learned that powerful women were loving and compassionate. I was not dominated by them—I accepted them as leaders who were creating me as a boy, a man, a lover, a friend, and a Leader. My powerful women leaders showed me the way by shining a light. I love women because they showed me how to love and be loving.

The men in my family have been powerful, too, and they taught me equally valuable lessons in being powerful. I learned how to be quietly powerful—I don’t need to be forceful unless or until it becomes necessary. Every gentleman in my family is a quiet storm, and this is the type of man that becomes my trusted friend. I don’t allow blowhards, loudmouths, bullies, or braggarts to take up space around me. That behavior is almost always a sign of untreated insecurity.

Millions of men didn’t get those lessons. Here’s what I see: Men who attempt to dominate by physical means or by mental or emotional pressure. It also seems to be a corollary that the men who do that have less education or intelligence, so their logic is faulty and they naturally seek women who lack confidence.

A lot of this abuse is very subtle. It happens when a man passes by a woman and invades her personal space, but without actual contact. It happens when a man stares at a woman in an obvious way, even when that attention is uninvited and unwanted. It happens in the work place every day when men impose their will in the presence of women who are equally qualified and experienced, but not equally paid.

It’s also true that domineering men will dominate weaker men, and there are domineering women who take their place in the pecking order, too. (What it’s like to be a powerful man who is shorter than average is the subject of a different article. Suffice it to say, for now, that height isn’t an indication of power—there are lots of weak, tall men.) That’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about bias.

Bias is subtle behavior that indicates a difference among people that is perceived and acted upon in ways that might not seem immediately obvious, and so they are not easily or often challenged—except by powerful women. Men who remain silent in the presence of bias are complicit.

If you want to be a modern man of the 21st Century who is neither a bully nor a wuss, take charge of your intelligence and apply the Golden Rule to women. Do you want to be more attractive? Try being courteous. Give up your seat. Hold a door open. Give a woman enough space on the sidewalk to pass without invading her space. The woman you are regarding is someone’s sister, daughter, or mother. Be a man. Be responsible for your place in society and be a shining example of what a real man should be.

If you want to be thoroughly alive, start by applying the Golden Rule in all relationships with all people, everywhere, everyday, even with strangers, even with people you might never meet. Your thoughts about them matter, and your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes are evident in your behaviors.

Real men have authority even while being courteous. Being courteous doesn’t mean being a doormat; it simply means giving space. Real men know who they are, what they need, and where they are going. You don’t have to agree with everything and bend in uncomfortable ways that don’t suit you. You do need to examine your behaviors and be fair and serve the greater good for everyone around you. Remember this: younger men are watching and some of them are influenced by what you do. Behave accordingly. Please.

Sex isn’t just what happens in the bedroom (or other rooms, or on the floor, or—in the time-honored U.S. tradition—the back seat of my car); it is the culmination of your behavior in all of your relationships. If you can have give-and-take and if you are flexible, approachable, and eager to share rather than just emit pheromones, you will have more success in your sexual relationships.

As for how to actually please a woman physically, emotionally, and mentally, there is a ton of information available, and not just on my various bookshelves at home and in my office. Look it up. Or just give me a call, which brings us to my

DISCLAIMER: I love women and I love Sex. I don’t understand what the big deal is. People have been doing it for a really long time, including all of your direct ancestors. Sex and Love enhance each other, and together they make Life richer. I hope everyone does it today, tonight, tomorrow morning, and every day.

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