Hypnotist Of The Year!

My Friends,

I am so pleased and my ego is swelled with the idea that I have been named Hypnotist of the Year by the International Association of Counselors and Therapists, and the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association. I tell you, there are worlds of emotion swirling around inside me right now.

I received the award on May 18, 2013, at the annual conference in Daytona Beach, and it was a total surprise. Each of the award honorees are awarded without advance notice, and I was caught speechless (one of the very few times in my Life, I assure you). It is so ironic that one day earlier I taught an 8-hour workshop on Advanced Presentation Skills!

I’m actually a little embarrassed by the distinction. Surely there is a great hypnotherapist out there who is working on a cure for cancer while putting children through college and caring for elderly parents, and that one deserves this distinction more than I.

On the other hand, I’ve worked my ass off to gain mastery in a few areas of Hypnotism, and I feel powerful about what I know. I’ve set aside everything else in my Life, several times, in order to figure out what I need to know and gather the tools I need, and to learn everything about those tools and how I might use them in any circumstance. I’m happy that I learned all of what I know for my own reasons–and not just to win an award.

Driving to my office this morning, I had a particularly important realization: The true value of this award is for my clients. If they have a stronger belief in me because of an award, their success will be easier and greater, and that’s why I do this work. This award is for them.

And so, as I steady myself with whatever humility and healthful perspectives and platitudes that I can muster, I also need large doses of humor to help me cope. Here’s a bit I wrote a couple hours ago on Facebook, and I hope it gives you some smiles and laughter…

~

Man oh man, what a terrible trip I had on the way home from Daytona Beach. Everywhere I went, people were staring at me and pointing and aiming their cell phones, trying to get a shot of the HYPNOTIST OF THE YEAR.

I am so happy to achieve this recognition from my peers, and I am grateful. It’s just that I wasn’t prepared for this level of fame and notoriety. At first, I was signing autographs everywhere I went, and it is great to get the best table in every restaurant and I haven’t paid for a thing since I became the HYPNOTIST OF THE YEAR. By the time I got to the airport I started to get really irritated and a little paranoid. I was dressed down, baseball cap pulled down over my shades, but apparently, the HYPNOTIST OF THE YEAR doesn’t blend in.

One guy in a suit spotted me at the security checkpoint and I did everything I could do to get ahead of him, just about running to the gate to catch my flight. He stayed with me all the way, and when he started motioning to the airport police, I slowed down and gave in—no autograph should cause so much trouble. I finally stopped as airport security, Florida State Police, and the guy in the suit and about three dozen passers-by all closed in on me with ball-point pens and smart phones. The guy in the suit reached into his coat pocket and pulled out something, and as I braced myself to sign one more autograph I sputtered, “YES! YES! I AM THE HYPNOTIST OF THE YEAR!! MUST YOU KEEP ON HOUNDING ME LIKE THIS??” He looked right at me, handed me the object and said, “You left your cell phone back at the checkpoint.”

Many Parts to a Whole Life (Therapy)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had a transformative experience in the hypnosis class I taught over the weekend, so of course I have to tell you all about it.  Part of My Mission in Life is to tell everyone about the astounding Power of Hypnosis.

 

My student is nearing the final phase of the advanced portion of the Hypnotherapy Certification Course, and in order to become certified she must demonstrate that she’s competent to hypnotize and effect transformation in her clients using several different tools and techniques.  We’re covering Parts Therapy for the next two weeks.

 

Parts Therapy is a way to use hypnosis to train a specific part of the mind, the part of mind that’s responsible for the origin and continuation of certain thoughts, emotions, sensations, and behaviors.  It’s an astonishingly powerful technique.  I’ve used it hundreds of times and it always provides profound changes for my clients and an endless source of learning for me and my students.  Parts Therapy involves deep trance, regression, inner child work, releasing, and suggestions for future success.  One of the fascinating aspects of teaching hypnosis is that I can explain a technique, demonstrate it for you, supervise you as you practice it with a client, and it will still work on you when it’s your turn to sit in the comfy chair—even though you’re expecting it.

 

In classes I sometimes sit in the comfy chair to experience my students’ work.  I don’t go into a deep trance in my classroom because I’m in teaching mode and I need to be lucid in order to supervise and be helpful.  Even so, I experience most of the effects and usually all of the benefits of hypnosis whenever I participate in the practicum.  With hypnosis, the benefits are always available to the client, the teacher, the student, and the observer.  The same is true with all energy work.

 

In this class I submitted to the intake interview and presented the issue that’s been on my mind for several months: Money.  I want to be free of my limiting beliefs regarding money and income.

 

She took me expertly through the intake conversation and easily identified the issues, associations in my past, and several clues in my body language that inspired her to write my hypnotic script right there on the spot (another skill that must be demonstrated in order to become certified).

 

With her help, I easily entered a light trance and easily regressed—mentally went back in time—to an incident in early childhood that influenced my lifelong attitudes about money.  In the trance I was six years old and back in the basement of my childhood home in Glendale, NY.  I could smell the room and feel the concrete floor and all of the colors and textures were vivid, including the furniture and even the sounds of traffic in the street.  My brother was there, and my father was nearby.  I was able to re-experience it and at the same time be outside of it and my comprehension and ability to place it in perspective was immediate.  It was amazing.

 

I’ve been a subject for Parts Therapy training many times, and each time it’s extraordinary.  It’s not enough to say that it’s helpful.  It can do in a few minutes what a lifetime of trying to figure out on your own probably won’t do.  You’re able to see, clearly and truly see what happened, the story you created as a result of what happened, and the difference between the two AND how to reconcile them into something powerful as a way to live from now on.

 

I got what I was looking for and I swear I feel lighter, less serious about all of it, and I’m celebrating the success that I know I’m going to have—just as my hypnotist suggested.  She allowed me to collaborate on my hypnotic script and my subconscious mind adopted it, as we both expected.  It seems like a magic trick, but it’s science.

 

My student is extraordinary, too.  She is a Doctor of Toxicology with many years of experience as a professional scientist.  She is methodical and thorough and is able to proceed with objectivity while staying focused on the plan.  I am humbled to be her teacher, and joyful with the knowledge that she is going to be great hypnotherapist.  The feeling of leading another person through this work and have them passionately embrace it is beyond words. It’s indescribable.  It’s one of the greatest feelings in the world.

 

If you’re a Certified Hypnotherapist and you want to learn more about Parts Therapy, I’m going to teach it in a separate workshop in Scottsdale, AZ in of March 2018.  See you there!

Healing

The most important opinion about healing belongs to the person who is in need of healing.

 

The most important information about healing is self-knowledge. You may not be consciously aware, but your inner mind knows all about your wellness and your illness. Look for impulses from your unconscious and learn how to pay attention to them and heed them.

 

Whatever you think about healing in general, or healing with regard to a specific person with a specific condition, you could be wrong.

 

The wisest doctor I’ve ever spoken with told me that doctors don’t heal; they do something to make the body heal on its own, faster.

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Sometimes the healing that a person receives is not what we hoped or intended, or to a different degree. We have no way of knowing what will be, even though we try our damnedest for a particular outcome.

 

Healing is mysterious. Wellness and illness are mysterious, too. There are thousands of systems in the brain, body, and body-mind process that we don’t fully understand.

 

Healing isn’t always a linear experience. Some people can go through it faster or slower, go backward, forward, stall, or quickly become well or quickly transition.

 

Healing is a complex process with somewhat unpredictable responses to known solutions.

 

Sometimes sick people get well without intervention, although someone involved will certainly say that their prayers brought about the healing.

 

Whatever healing is, humans will create beliefs and attributions and philosophies in order to cope with any outcome.

 

Knowing that my own opinion matters very little, I think there is no such thing as a healer; or if there is, everyone can do it.

 

I think our thoughts and emotions and behaviors play the biggest role in our wellness, illness, and longevity.

 

That popular notion that we only use a small percentage of our brain?  It’s inaccurate. The conscious mind uses a small percentage, but the rest of your brain is busy doing things that you’re not consciously aware of. You use every part of your brain. Some parts are used for bringing things back into balance, which is just a fancy term for healing.

Holistic = Wholistic

When I first heard the term it wasn’t widely-used, as it is today, and it was spelled with a W.

 

I came to understand it as a total approach to health and well-being. It seems intuitive now, but in the late ‘60s it was revolutionary. Along with the studies of body language and many other sciences and pseudo-sciences, holistic health care began to take hold as people everywhere joined a global community of people who are as concerned with happiness as they are with longevity, because all of the things we think, feel, and do relate to overall health.

 

Holistic health and well-being is what I preach to all of my Clients and everyone who will listen. Drink lots of water. Eat sensibly and in moderation. You don’t need recreational drugs or alcohol. Meditate and practice self-hypnosis to train mind and body for contentedness. Keep healthy relationships and learn to have intimacy and satisfying sex. Everyone needs sex education, so talk about it with people you trust, especially your family. Laugh and smile often. Surround yourself with beauty as much as you can. Be available, be of service, and say Yes more than you say No. Keep your mind active and steer away from boredom. If there is any situation causing stress and worry, address it directly right now or as soon as possible. Get resolution and completion to the unfinished things. Get enough sleep. Do all of these things because living well is the best path to being well.

 

Why do I recommend these things to my Clients? Simple: it’s because I’m not a physician or psychologist or psychiatrist. Any other advice would be beyond the scope of my knowledge and professional practice, but look at it this way: this advice helps other professionals work with you. When you do everything you can do for yourself, you become calmer, you make better decisions, and you also become more compliant with the trustworthy professionals who can help you.

 

Take care, my Friends, and I mean that in every sense.

 

More soon,
James.

Smokers, Big Tobacco, and the Tobacco Master Settlement Agreement

I am a Hypnotist and this is my busy season. The reason I’m so busy is that the holidays are stressful and we are conditioned to thinking about our lives at this time of year.  We have feelings about the year that’s about to end, and hope about the year that’s about to begin. It stands to reason that courageous, creative people are going to move forward to seek support as they go through the New Year’s rituals.

Moving forward is what I do for a living. I take people along and we share inspiration, hope, happiness, contentment, excitement, adventure, pleasant surprises, powerful effects, positive outcomes, and the increasing ability to shape our experiences through thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

One thing that really thrills me is that I help people to quit smoking. This is one of my specialties. A few years ago I put everything aside to learn how to be great at it. I simply decided I would become an expert, and that decision caused me to read everything, review all of the classes I had taken, call a few expert colleagues, view and read all kinds of information on the internet, and put together a program that works with a very high degree of efficacy. Every client who sticks with my program becomes a non-smoker.

How does it work?  It works differently for each client because everyone is different. Each client will pay attention to different aspects of their smoking experience, and every client has resistance. It’s up to me to pay careful attention to their concerns, understand them at a deeply human level and without judgment, then meet them there and appeal to their willingness to improve and develop.

I was a smoker for 17 years. One thing that really got to me and caused me to quit was when my brother-in-law said to me, “You’re too smart to smoke.” I couldn’t deny that, and it suddenly made smoking seem very stupid.

That statement won’t appeal to every smoker. Some hate the stink and the hassle of ashes and embers and ashtrays. Some feel shame that they are influencing their children. Some hate the social aspects, such as having to go outside to smoke. And some people just hate that they are enslaved by dried-up tobacco rolled up in paper.

Some clients say they are not bothered by the money—until I hand them my calculator and have them work out the arithmetic:

$8.00 per pack  X  365 days in a year  =  $2,944.00

What really makes me hate smoking is the Tobacco Master Settlement Agreement.  That’s what makes smoking so expensive. When you buy a pack of smokes, it isn’t “taxes” that makes them so expensive—it’s the Tobacco Master Settlement Agreement.  More than  50% of the price goes to that expense.  Less than 5% of the price goes to profit.

Makes you wonder: If the tobacco companies make so little profit per pack, they must be selling one hell of a lot of packs in order to afford the $206 billion to which every smoker is contributing.

The main points to remember about the Tobacco Master Settlement Agreement:

  •     Big Tobacco doesn’t know who you are and they don’t care about you
  •     If you get sick as a result of smoking, you can’t sue them
  •     The tobacco companies know that smoking is lethal, and paying $206 billion over the course of 25 years is actually cheaper than the cost of medical care, lawsuits, and insurance payouts related to smoking.

I’m sorry you got chumped so badly by Big Tobacco.  I truly am sorry. You don’t have to take it anymore.  You can stop.  You’re too smart to smoke. Find a great hypnotist who is committed to this work, and get started.  You can do this!  I believe in you.

“Belief” and Hypnosis

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As a professional Certified Hypnotist, I can tell you with certainty that Hypnosis is not based on belief.  In other words, you need not believe in it for it to work for you.

Hypnosis is Science.
If you are willing to go through the process, it will work for you.  You will experience positive results.  Put aside your conscious ideas about logic and reason.  Your subconscious mind doesn’t waste time with those things that exist in the conscious mind–and that’s a good thing because we could waste all day arguing about how and if it works.  Hypnosis works.  Just go with it.

Hypnosis is Art.
Half of the Art of Hypnosis lies in the spoken language and non-verbal language of the Hypnotist and the development of skill over time. The other half of the Art is your subconscious ability to change old habits of thinking, feeling, and behaving.  The Art that I continue to develop is finding the connections and associations that exist in your filters of belief, opinion, attitude, experience, education, knowledge, and wisdom.  Once we find the key to unlock your limiting beliefs, you become unstoppable.  I expect that as with all beautiful, fine things in Life, this skill continues to develop as long as I continue to learn, practice, and teach.  How deep do you want to go?  There is no limit!

Hypnosis is a Philosophy.
I say this all the time: What we continue to practice is what we master.  We can misdirect our attention and practice worry, grief, regret, resistance, nervousness, stress, anxiety, self-doubt, anger, frustration–all of the other terrible things–and we can get very good at them ~ OR ~ we can practice the self-mastery of Love, kindness, generosity, forgiveness, calm, confidence, courage, leadership, happiness, contentment, hope, optimism, cheerfulness, greatness, learning, openness, and all of the other wonderful things–and have a Life beyond your wildest dreams.

Forget about “belief.”  Some of what you believe is wrong.  Believe in your SELF and your ability to improve, develop, and prosper.

I Believe in You.

The Hypnotic Secret of Getting People to Do Just About Anything

I am a professionally-trained Hypnotist.  I know how to get people to do things.  I do it all the time in my office, in groups, and sometimes on a stage.  I can even get to you read this entire blog.

 

Yes, there is a set of words you can use, along with some non-verbal suggestions, and they work like magic—you won’t believe your results.

 

I will tell you the exact words in a moment or two, but in order to use them most powerfully, read the entire explanation first.  There’s also a catch: If you want to get something, you have to give something.  That is one of the Great Laws of the Universe.  There is always an exchange of energy.  Give your part of the bargain cleanly—or else the Universe will extract it from you at a later date.  That’s how it works according to The Law.

 

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Here is the information you seek.  The Magic Words are Please and Thank You.  There are many other words and phrases, and with these as a starting point you will easily build your own list.

 

The non-verbal suggestions are smiling, sympathetic facial expressions, and possibly a gesture of physical contact (depending on the circumstances).  You can think of others.

 

If you want those words and gestures to work all the time, there’s something else you need to know.  This is it: Be a good person all the time.  Your intentions and personality are ALWAYS communicated subliminally, in all of your expressions, even when you think no one is watching.

 

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I’d better repeat the last part, because you’re more interested in manipulating other people than you are in improving yourself (don’t feel bad; that’s part of our human condition).  The way to become ultimately persuasive is to be a good person all the time.  Who you really are deep down is always evident in your body language, tone of voice, and the things you say.  It’s impossible to mask yourself all the time.  If you are good, people pick up on that.  If you are lying, people pick up on that, too.  We pick up on each other’s signals at a subliminal level, subconsciously.

 

It seems so simple, doesn’t it?  It IS simple.  If you think it takes a lot of work to do and say things in order to be influential, persuasive, charismatic, powerful, and desired, you are working too hard. Goodness is simple. Kindness is simple. Generosity is simple.

 

The reason being good works so effectively is that people around you will instantly pick up on your openness and genuineness and authenticity.  They will believe you and also believe in you.

 

You can’t fake being nice if you’re a jerk.  You might fool some of the people some of the time, but eventually the Universe will extract your end of the bargain and you will have gained nothing.

 

The Universe insists on an even exchange overall, but if you give a lot and gain a lot, you are living a very rich Life and it’s totally worth it to play this game full-out.

 

Start practicing now.  Some great examples of goodness include Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi, but you need not become a holy person.  Just do your sincere best to act in someone else’s best interest even when you don’t want to.  Even when there’s nothing in it for you.  Even if no one will know and you won’t be able to brag about it.  Practice often, train yourself to be a good person all the time, and your goodness will become evident in the way you talk, move, conduct yourself, and then in your thinking, feeling, physical sensations and experiences, your writing, and everything about your self-expression.

 

That catch I mentioned earlier?  Here it is: Being a good person, you will only be asking for what you need, nothing more.  You will not be selfish about getting people to do things.  For example, you will ask for a ride someplace and not for a car.  You will ask for the price of a meal, not the price of a night out.  You will ask for the thing you need—and you will also offer something in return in order to maintain the balance of energy.

 

That’s the drawback.  You began reading this for selfish reasons, but the way to get what you want is to be generous, righteous, and upstanding for the greater good all the time.

 

Trust me, I’m a hypnotist.  This is what I advise, and it’s what I teach my clients and audiences everywhere.  It works like magic, and you won’t believe your results.

 

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Watch the video on YouTube: http://youtu.be/QOxY0lndtXM

Hypnosis and Meditation Are Not the Same Thing. Here’s why…

The question about the relationship between hypnosis and meditation has been coming up again, so here is a qualified explanation.  This brief article is a clear look at the differences between Hypnosis and Meditation with regard to how they are actually practiced in the world today.

Keep in mind that both Hypnosis and Meditation can provide deeply meaningful experiences and they can be practiced for decades and your experiences will change over time.  They are very deep subjects that cannot be described fully in this small space–you will gain extremely great self-knowledge and development with either or both.  This article is not intended to describe what you may or may not experience and the many ways that you will improve; it is only to point out the significant differences.

It comes down to four things: purpose and motivation, style and technique, assessment of suggestibility, and actual suggestions given for future behaviors.  In order to discuss the differences and distinctions, it is helpful to begin with the similarities of the two.

Both hypnosis and meditation can cause relaxation, calm, comfort, euphoria or happiness, contentment, and serenity.  Sessions include those kinds of suggestions.  Sessions are conducted in groups, or for individuals one at a time.  There might be a distorted sense of time.  Muscles release tension and the body can return to balance, and usually the client will sleep wonderfully during the night following a session.  All of these things are reported by clients following meditation and hypnosis sessions.  Clients also report a wide range of images and feelings, indicating that each person creates the experience according to their own personal individuality. 

Those are the similarities.

Here is where Hypnosis and Meditation diverge and remain distinct:

 

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Purpose and Motivation

With meditation, often the purpose is stated by the teacher or leader.  Meditation is typically used for stress reduction, taking a mental break, facilitate healing, improve sleep, and anything associated with gentle relaxation. Hypnosis differs in terms of motivation.  For example, few people seek meditation with the motivation for quitting smoking, losing weight, getting a grip on exam taking, or increasing confidence and courage.  The specific intention and principle effect of hypnosis is to get the client’s subconscious mind open to suggestions while their conscious mind takes a break from rationalizing, judging, and questioning.  The client remains awake while in a state of detachment in which they are not thinking about thinking.

One key thing here is that hypnosis has nothing to do with relaxation.  It is not necessary to remain still and quiet in order to be hypnotized.  For proof of this, observe any hypnosis entertainment show and see for yourself.  The simple reason to suggest “relaxation” is to remove distraction so that hypnosis can occur.

Style and Technique

Meditation and hypnosis both use an infinite number and array of techniques, many of which can be created spontaneously during the session.  With hypnosis, the style and technique are form-fitted to the individual, or else the conscious mind will not daydream or go into trance.  In hypnosis groups, the hypnotist will provide a variety of suggestions in order to appeal to individual learning styles.

Some of the techniques used to induce and conduct the hypnotic experience are things known in our jargon as deepeners, ego-strengthening, fractionation, convincers or depth testing, post-hypnotic re-introduction to hypnosis, and anchoring. The most obvious difference between meditation and hypnosis can be seen in a demonstration of Rapid Hypnotic Induction.  It is highly effective and repeatable and it dramatically demonstrates the effects of hypnosis.  I have never seen anything resembling rapid meditation, and as far as I know there is no such thing.

Assessment of Suggestibility

Hypnotists, using a variety of suggestibility tests, will determine the client’s learning style, subconscious preference for direct or indirect suggestions, and degree of willingness to go through the process. Here’s an example.  Everyone has subconscious learning preferences.  Some learn best by hearing and listening, others by seeing and looking, and still others by doing and feeling.  Everyone uses a combination of these, but some work better than others, and there is no right way or wrong way.  The hypnotist will want to appeal to the styles that work best for the client. In the course of making this assessment, it is also possible to determine the client’s susceptibility to direct suggestions and indirect suggestions. The hypnotist can also assess whether a client is so highly suggestible that either or both will be effective.  The knowledge gained from the assessment is then used to create an induction and hypnotic script.

Suggestions for Future Behaviors

Here’s another major difference: Hypnosis is used for and is highly effective at helping clients to change their behaviors.  Those suggestions are known as “post-hypnotic suggestions.”  Everyone knows this to the extent that it’s why my clients seek my help at the outset.  A good hypnotic script includes suggestions for future behavioral change, future emotional well-being, and continuing positive transformation.  In contrast, meditation is about being “in the moment.”

 

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A few other things to consider…

Hypnosis is often used for entertainment purposes, but I have yet to hear of Stage Meditation or Entertainment Meditation. Hypnosis goes by many names for marketing purposes, things such as Guided Meditation, Inner Mind Entrainment, Quantum Jumping, and many other terms designed to appeal to different populations.  If you attend one of those sessions and then you notice that your behaviors, habits, or moods have been altered significantly, rest assured that you have been hypnotized.

There are many paths.

Both meditation and hypnosis are powerful modalities to use for personal transformation, improvement, and development.  They may include concepts of spirituality, faith, and healing, and they can both lead to your Higher Self.  Take them seriously and use them as a path.  With practice, you will learn to tailor them to your needs and desires, and you will learn amazing things about yourself and your relationship to the world around you.

 

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James M. Giunta is the creator of Hyp+Note=Therapy and he presented his technique at TEDx Navesink on May 10, 2014.  Watch it now: http://www.tedxnavesink.com/project/james-giunta/

Excellence and Perfection

I get a lot of questions about how to Live, what to accept and internalize, what to fight for and what to defend. I think the best way to go about Life and living is to take it full-on, without compromise.  Be excellent.

You can practice excellence at any time.  Excellence is a practice, a standard, and a standard of practice.  Whatever the task, you can approach it with the goal of Excellence.

 

Excellence is not the same as Perfection.

 

I’ve done some considerable exploration with this in hundreds of conversations, and it seems that ideas and opinions of “perfection” are cultural.  In other words, it’s likely that your idea of Perfection has been handed to you by the people in your sphere of influence: parents, family, teachers, mentors, coaches, and idols.  Let’s take a closer look at this.

 

“Perfection” means the same thing as “flawless.”  Some people believe that this is an unattainable quality.  Many religious people believe that only God is Perfect, and to aspire to that is egoistic, foolish, or sinful.  A lot of people believe that perfection is impossible, so why bother to try hard?  Why not just muddle along without going for the best that is attainable?

 

I have observed that in just about every culture, nature is considered to be perfect, God is perfect, and the Universe is perfect.

 

Fortunately, I don’t have to take on religious doctrine, your parents, or New Age adherents because this article isn’t about Perfection.  It’s about Excellence.  Let me take a stand for Excellence right now as I make my point.

 

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“Excellence” is not the same thing as “Perfection.”

 

Excellence means doing the best you can do at any given time using what you have on hand.  If you strive for excellence you are not striving for perfection.  You are simply doing your very best, leaving nothing out, and insisting on attaining and achieving the highest quality that is possible in that moment.

 

One common objection to Excellence is the perception that it requires more energy and effort.  I can’t argue with that.  It does.  The real question is, Are You Worth It?  Look at it this way: you benefit the most from your effort.  You can  train yourself to be excellent, do excellence, and have excellence all the time.  If you don’t train yourself right now, why will you deserve excellent things later?  No, if you want an excellent Life, practice excellence all the time.  Don’t hold back.  Be at your best.

 

Some days won’t be as excellent as other days.  Sometimes your excellent best will be different if you get a flat tire, illness, you’re an hour late, someone in your Life is hurting, and you ran out of clean underwear (and let’s not forget that most of the world’s population doesn’t have these “luxury” problems—there are such things as famine, disease, and severe oppression).  In those cases, you will still strive for the best you can do and you will know that you did the very best you could do.

 

Here’s another great reason to be excellent all the time: whenever you do that, you train your brain.  Your subconscious mind can be trained to expect excellence because you demand it of yourself every time.  It works!  Trust me, I’m a hypnotist.  The subconscious is where I do my Life’s work.  I encourage this every day and it works wonders for everyone who follows my suggestion.  Take the extra effort, do it for you ~ Number One ~ and others will benefit from your excellence.  Don’t let anyone stop you!  Be unstoppable!

 

There is nothing to add to this description of excellence.  I say go for it!  What have you got to lose, other than mediocrity?

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Can We Talk?

When I was working at the University about 20 years ago, I met a student named Bobby who was really interested in my field of study and he took to hanging around my office to volunteer and learn more about everything we were working on at that time.  He was intelligent, personable, funny, very helpful, and just a really great person to have around.  There was only one problem.  Bobby had just about the worst body odor you can imagine.

It wasn’t just obvious and unpleasant; it was unusual.  It smelled like a combination of urine and ammonia.  It was so bad that even after he had left my office, his odor lingered, and people arriving later would notice it.  It wasn’t long before just about everyone was talking and gossiping about Bobby’s B.O.  I knew I had to do something about it, so I took that on as a personal mission.  I was going to help Bobby overcome his odor, get rid of the gossip, gain self-respect, and restore his bright future.

Before I brought it up with him, I took some time to observe him more closely.  I noticed that every day his hair was clean and combed, clothes freshly laundered.  His hands were clammy every time we shook, but that isn’t necessarily related to odor.  I was satisfied that he was well-groomed every day.

We had a private talk, and I told him that I detected an odor and it would be best if he could address that and eliminate it in whatever way he could.  He told me that he always had that odor and he had tried everything—soaps, deodorants, antiperspirants, you name it.  His mother and grandmother had addressed his condition and over the years everyone had given up.  He told me that the contents of the bulky bag he carried every day contained a change of clothes.  Every day he changed his clothes mid-day, right down to his socks and underwear.  I asked him if he understood that this would affect his future relationships and would probably repel potential mates.  He told me that if they couldn’t accept him as he was, so be it.  I told him that employers might refuse to hire him on the basis that his personal hygiene was substandard.  That gave him pause.

The next day, under the pretext of going out to lunch, we got in my car and headed downtown.  I took him into a supermarket and we stood in front of the deodorants and I invited him to pick one, any one, two if he liked, this would be my treat.  He told me he had tried them all, every single one, even the ones that were advertised as strong and guaranteed.  I took note of that and we left the store.

That afternoon I called my friend JoAnne in the Biology Department. JoAnne was a powerful woman who was also wise and a good friend.  I told her the situation and she responded without hesitating at all: Send him to a doctor.  The next time I saw Bobby, I asked him to please make an appointment and go, and that if he needed any financial help, I would help him.  I repeated the idea that he might not get hired or even land a decent internship if he could not smell good, or at least neutral and OK.  He was easily convinced and he agreed.

I didn’t see Bobby for a few days after that, but the next time I saw him he was smiling and happy—and odor-free.  He told me the doctor said he had a vitamin deficiency!  He got a generic daily multivitamin and some anti-fungal soap, and he now had an effective and enduring solution.  This one, simple action changed his life for the better, and it was all because of a simple conversation.

I had a great experience in talking with Bobby because I learned to overcome my own fear of being honest in an awkward situation.  I learned that my concern for his welfare was greater than my desire to look good and avoid uncomfortable conversations.  I learned that I can speak up in a concerned, supportive way that did not cause defensiveness or anger, and once I was able to learn that, I can now do it at anytime, forever.

Can we talk?  Can we really talk to each other and help each other to be at our best and find solutions?  Will you tell me if there is something I can improve about how I’m being and what I’m doing?  I’ll certainly tell you.  Let’s help each other be at our best, and let’s do that with Love and genuine concern for each other as friends and humans who care.

Moonrise Over Daytona Beach

I attended a hypnosis conference in Daytona Beach in May and I had a remarkable experience.  The annual International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association is my favorite conference and I would never miss it.  I have some dear friends who always attend and I always meet new friends and we have the most remarkable learning experiences. Some of the best things that happen are the conversations.

 

Following the dinner and awards ceremony on Saturday night, I slipped out to the pool and fire pit area to enjoy a good cigar and some quiet, and just stare at the ocean.  It was a beautiful night, and a bit foggy—no stars or planets or moon visible.  The only thing I could see on the ocean was a very tiny, orange light way out there, on or near the horizon.  What was it?  A signal light?  A ship on fire?

 

Soon after I got there, some others from the conference came out and before long there was another party going on all around me.  The bar had closed early, so these resourceful hypnotists procured some booze and vessels and started getting down at the pool.  There was drinking, laughter, some dipping in the pool, and of course the most interesting and intelligent conversations you can imagine.  I remained at the railing, savoring my Macanudo and I continued to watch the orange light and I could see that it was getting bigger, along with my curiosity.  I was talking and interacting with my friends and I pointed it out to a few people, but no one was as curious as I.  At last, a nature-lover joined me, a new friend named Randi Light who is just a delightful, smart, funny hypnotist and someone you would love to meet.  I had a feeling she could help with this, and I was right.

 

“Randi, what the hell is that orange light way out there?”

 

“It’s the moon. Florida is the only place I’ve ever seen the moon appear orange, and only when it’s on the horizon.”

 

“Wait a second.  That’s not the moon.  I’ve been watching it get bigger.  You can’t see the moon moving—it’s too far away.”

 

“You don’t notice that it’s moving if it’s up in the middle of the sky, but at the horizon, using that as a fixed point, you can definitely see it moving.”

 

 Murray1

 

I was astounded.  I have lived 58 years without knowing this!  I was completely enthralled with this new information.  There is so much I know about the moon—phases, distance from the earth, how long it takes to get there on an Apollo mission, and even a few things about lunar gravity. But this…!  I never knew that you can actually perceive the motion and movement of the moon by standing still and watching!  Maybe my ignorance shouldn’t be too surprising.  I’m from Brooklyn and we didn’t do much camping.  I’m kind of like Frank Zappa, who once said: “For me, the great outdoors is walking from the airport terminal to the parking garage.”  I’m not as extreme as Frank, but close.

 

As the party went on I continued to watch the beautiful, orange full moon rising in the sky and I could actually see it move.  Sure enough, as it got higher in the sky it turned from orange to its usual white-yellow-silver.  I continued to marvel at this new information and I mentioned it to anyone who came over to say hello.

 

I was deep into an interesting conversation with Patricia Scott when Randi came back to say hello. I told Patty my new, interesting nature fact and she was impressed, too.  The three of us remembered watching What The Bleep Do We Know!? and the scene where the native Americans couldn’t see Columbus’ three ships because they didn’t know that such a thing as ships existed and therefore the ships could not possibly be there.

 

Here I was, in the same situation.  Randi told me it was the moon, but I denied it because I didn’t know the moon appears orange or that I could perceive its motion across the sky.  I was seeing it, looking right at it, and filtering what I was seeing through my screen of experience, belief, attitude, and “knowledge.” I was dead wrong, until I managed to open up to what was actually happening right in front of me.

 

My friends, what is in your world right now that you’re not seeing?  What is it about your experience that would become so much richer if you could just open up to what is actually happening?  In what way is your filter of “knowledge” shading and shaping and limiting your Life?