Anxiety, stress, nervousness, insecurity are fancy words for one thing: Fear.  It’s true that these words are not exactly interchangeable, but we use them to indicate the same thing: We’re uncomfortable at some level. These things detract from Quality of Life.

As a Hypnotist and Inspirationist, there are questions that drive me forward.  How do we deal with our fears in an effective way that can be permanent?  Why is it that when we are distracted away from our concerns, they don’t matter at all? How will my Life change when I become more relaxed and less tense?

That last question is a good one to ask someone when they are stressed.  When they answer that question they can reveal things about their goals, values, vision—or their lack of clarity in these areas.  This is also a good way for them to begin to assess their situation.

Every child knows how to lie back in the grass and watch the clouds go by, on a beautiful day, without a care in the world.  At some point, we grow older.  Jobs, school, responsibility, family, career,a diagnosis, a knock at the door—any of these things can change your Life’s direction on a dime.  Either suddenly or gradually, we start to tense up somewhere, in mind and body, and we forget what it’s like to watch the clouds drift by.

There are a number of great ways to re-learn or remember or to practice watching the clouds go by. In fact, ACTUALLY LYING DOWN AND WATCHING THE CLOUDS GO BY is an excellent way to relax!  Why don’t we do that?  Maybe because it seems so simple and we think that the complex of anxiety requires a complex solution.  It does not. It only requires some practice.

OK, so let’s say you can’t let go of tension.  There’s only one reason for that: you are attached to it.  Maybe there is some secondary benefit to you being tense. Maybe you’ve been hanging onto it for a long time and it’s an ingrained habit.  Here’s the thing: as long as you hang onto it, you practice being tense, and you become really, really good at it.  An expert.  A real professional!

How to stop doing that? A hypnotist would never suggest, “Stop doing that.”  We know better. Instead, we train you to do something else.

When you become generally more relaxed, you’re still you.  You live in the same home, drive the same car.  You will laugh at the same jokes.  The difference is that when you relax you begin to make better decisions. Your shoulders go back and down and you naturally begin to release physical tension.  You smile more, or at least frown less.  People around you pickup on this, subliminally, and they become easier with you.  Your Life changes for the better, and that changes your Possible Future.  I’ve seen this happen with many clients, and you can see this happen in your Life.  It just takes practice.

If you need help, get help. Hypnosis is my favorite modality because it’s so simple!  All you need is your own Power of Suggestion.  Practice with relaxation,combined with suggestions for relaxation and integration of your best Internal Resources, and you will get really good at that!  Call me if you have a question.

See you on the other side!

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I am a public speaker, presenter, and teacher.  I speak in front of audiences about 20 times each year and I love what I do.  Underneath the very visible public image, I am a Hypnotist and Inspirationist.  I influence people.  I also teach what I do as a Hypnotist and a presenter.  Every summer, I teach a long workshop for all who want to improve their presentation skills.  Presenting is influencing.  Believe me, I use influential, persuasive, motivational, inspirational language all the time—with clients, audiences, and with the people I love and who love me back.  My entire career is based on communication, language, and linguistics.

Here’s one question that I deal with from my students all the time: “Is cursing during my presentation a benefit or a detriment?”  Here are some thoughts.

For this argument, I will just deal with curse words that are obvious, not borderline; the ones that are squarely in the area of stuff Mom would not want us to say anywhere.  I’m just going to deal with any words or language that we were not permitted to say in classrooms of our youth.  Anything you would not say to a judge in any courtroom to which you are summoned.

Know your audience. Some groups, especially younger people, will appreciate a few curse words.  You might warm them up or get some giggles that way. It also seems to work well with audiences of like-minded people who are bonding over an issue, political stance, or cultural touchstone.  It also seems safer if you are part of your audience’s demographic group.

Know yourself. Don’t do it if any of George Carlin’s Seven Words You Can’t Say On Television don’t naturally roll off your tongue. If you can’t curse as effortlessly as Chris Rock, you won’t fool anyone, so don’t even try.

Know your topic. Cursing might be entirely inappropriate to what you are talking about.  If it seems out of place while you are rehearsing, better to just use the style that fits.

Know your content. Content is not the same thing as topic.  Content includes everything: introduction, jokes, anecdotes, conclusions, assertions, summations, and your style.  If your content can support cursing and if all the other conditions are in your favor, it will probably go over OK.

Don’t use that language as a place-holder or substitute. If you are presenting yourself as an expert speaker, have an expert knowledge of language, jargon, slang, and all parts of grammar.  Don’t pretend by using a few curse words in place of clear language.

It’s never necessary. It may be funny, cool, endearing—or it may not be any of those things.  There are many deciding factors, and you can’t be in control of them at all times.   You can go with the flow, but that flow is collaboration between audience and presenter.

Be present to the Greater Good. If there is anyone in your audience who might be turned off by cursing, why do it?  Why not show consideration, rather than alienation?

Be true to yourself. Always be true to your language and your way of speaking. If you are inclined to curse before your audience, that is an indication of your attitude, and that’s highly visible to everyone. If you feel that your character can be questioned based on your language, then it’s up to you to decide how to express yourself in order to be yourself.

Finally, in just about every case I’ve ever seen by a public speaker who wasn’t a stand-up comedian or actor performing a monologue, cursing went hand-in-hand with uneducated grammar.  If you ever pay money to hear a presenter who uses curses in place of clear language, I hope you will ask for a refund.

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