Networking, Not Marketing

Networking and marketing are two very different things. You already know how to market yourself. If not in business, you market yourself as a friend or neighbor or interesting member of your community. Without some form of marketing or self-promotion, you would be alone in the world.

Networking is a lot different, although it includes marketing. Networking is more like being a friend than a self-promoter. In fact, if you go about marketing with the chief purpose of getting referrals to your business, you’re missing the point. Networking is about building and maintaining relationships.

I began attending networking groups for the same reason that most people have—to get referrals and increase my business. The problem was that I went away from the meetings feeling cold, as if I had missed something. The thing I was missing was this: Being part of a community is a lot more than just having an address and something to sell.

I define networking as finding out as much as I can about someone and their services and products, while making my own business worth and values available to anyone.

Networking is a mind-set. The people who do it best make it a habit. The most effective people I know are also the most helpful, with lots of resources that they share with others. The result of having abundant, strong resources is that they are sought and trusted, and they have perceived power in the community. They seem to incorporate this tried-and-true philosophy: “If you want good friends, you first have to be a good friend.”

Here’s what I’ve been learning about the benefits of networking:

I get a lot of practice meeting others and promoting myself. That alone has great value. I shake anywhere from 20 to 50 hands every week, along with some conversation about what we do for a living. Much more than just an “elevator speech,” I have gained an understanding of what people want to know about me and what they think is valuable. As a result, I’ve developed a few great ways to generate curiosity about my services.

I’m become acquainted with others in the business community, and I’m learning a lot about them. I will only feel good about giving referrals if I have a good understanding of the product, service, and the people behind them. I need to know that the people in the company have integrity.

I’ve become a lot more helpful to others by supplying information about their perceived needs. Say what you want about “giving to get.” I still stand by what my mother taught me: being helpful is its own reward. Being good to others is simply the right thing to do. I might get a reward for doing something nice, but that should never be the #1 reason for doing it. Call me a Humanist, I guess.

I’m increasing my standing in the community. If I am going about my networking effectively, my own integrity, abundance, and generosity of spirit will become known. I hope it will influence those around me to open up, too.

Networking has given me a wider range of direct and reliable feedback about my marketing. Which feedback do I value the most? The feedback that comes from people of integrity who make an effort to get to know me and what I have to offer.

As a result of all the networking I do, I realize that I’m getting the basic things I’ve been wanting and needing all along: respect from my peers, and a friendly environment in which I can thrive. And you know what else? I’ve even made a few friends. I didn’t start out to make friends, but that’s just another pleasant surprise about networking. There are plenty of people in my local business community who share some of my general feelings about the Universe, and the world of business. Good thing I ventured out to meet them!

Musicians, Business, and The Music Business

I played my first paying gig in 1972, the summer I turned 16. Back then it really was all about the music. In those few years after Woodstock and before Watergate, the Age of Aquarius was peaking. Musicians and producers and engineers and promoters had developed some wonderful technologies that made some great things possible: Stadium tours, 16-track recording, synthesizers and electronic music, and an array of new brands of instruments that were greatly improved over the ones that had been available in the ‘60s.

Looking back, I see that the people I looked up to were interested in artistry. Sure, there were some who were only in it for the money—but they were easily recognized. The early ‘70s were still very much about sharing, working together, improving standards, and mutual respect. Another great thing about those times was that musical genres didn’t have to remain separate. It was common to see concerts that included folk, pop, and rock acts all on the same bill. You didn’t go to hear one type of music; you went to hear good musicians playing good music, and playing it expertly.

Fast-forward to the ‘90s. Things changed. A lot. The world grew up, and technology was zooming along, the Space Age having given way to the Information Age. Technology and economies began to influence music and the music business in new ways. Not only was it possible for millions of people to start recording at home; it was also possible for most of them to market their products on their own. Although an abundance of mediocre music began to circulate, some great musicians, notably Ani DiFranco, began successful careers as do-it-yourselfers.

Since that time, information technology and the economy continued to influence musicians, but in an interesting way. There has never been a more important time to be self-sufficient and knowledgeable about business. Along with that truism it is also a fact that it’s relatively easy to promote and distribute just about any idea, information, or product using the internet. There is a small number of great musicians who are doing just that, in conventional and unconventional ways. The flipside of this terrific coin is that when success happens, the formula is transparent—very easy to see, and hundreds of musicians will attempt to duplicate it.

When the copycats start doing their thing, music suffers because they’ve put their focus on selling, earning, and fame. That’s not music, and that’s not art.

I hear lots of musicians promoting themselves these days, but their conversation is littered with talk about markets and demographics and statistics. They talk about who they want to sound like and sell to. They seem to be knowledgeable about business. What they talk much less about is the emotion behind the music. The life experience that connects with their musical experience. The music itself. They sound much more like executives rather than talented people who have something to say.

Note that these musicians are not “selling out.” Selling out, by definition, happens after a musician or group has become hugely successful. Selling out is merely duplicating a formula for the purpose of earning another boatload of money. Selling out isn’t hard to do—but initial success is impossible to predict and no professional knows when or even if they will ever get to the Big Time.

There’s another problem with approaching the music business while putting the Music in the back seat. Money, glitz, and glamour have never been a good substitute for actual talent and class. Never. It’s possible to sink a lot of money into promotion and distribution, and a lot of acts get a short ride, but I’ve never seen a music business alchemist who can turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse.

And as long as I’m on a roll, let me be one of the very few who will denounce Open Mic Nights for what they really are: a huge rip-off of musicians. Open mic nights can be hugely popular and successful, but if we’re measuring success in terms of money, who gets paid? The proprietors. They provide space (notice I don’t say “stage”), a sound system, and sometimes even a producer. The musicians provide whatever talent they bring, plus paying customers. The performing musicians even buy their own food and drink. Let me ask you again: Who gets paid on open mic night? Or more to the point, who’s working for free?

The Music Business in the 2000s has cut to the chase: how many butts can you put on barstools? Most of the bookers and promoters I meet aren’t interested in musicians and music. That doesn’t surprise me, but it’s disappointing to see it at the local level. I would expect that from concert hall and stadium promoters. In my own community, that kind of selfish, faceless treatment is a bitter pill to swallow.

I don’t know where the Music Business will end up years from now. But just as surely as cream can rise, mediocrity fails. Money will continue to pour in from marginally talented players, and thousands of sincere, talented artists will go unnoticed by the masses. It reminds me of the old joke: “How do you become a millionaire in the music business? Start with two million.”

Can Anyone Be Hypnotized?

This is one of my favorite questions. Every week someone tells me, with conviction, that they can’t be hypnotized. They really believe they can’t be hypnotized—but they’re usually reacting to what they think hypnosis is. In just about every case, they are unfamiliar with what hypnosis is or what it can be used for.

Sometimes people are fearful because they think they will be giving up control of their minds. In other cases, a person might have difficulty relaxing because of current physical pain or emotional trauma. And some people simply doubt the power of suggestion, believing that only weak minds can react to hypnotic suggestions.

It is a myth that people lose the power of their own will when hypnotized, or that hypnosis is a way of finding out someone’s secrets. The truth is that hypnosis is a wonderful, powerful modality for attaining clarity and making important decisions. Through hypnosis, we can identify what’s most important to us and find out how to obtain and maintain those things.

So, what kind of person can be hypnotized? Anyone who has an IQ of at least 70, and is willing try it. That’s it. Of course, some people can go into trance more easily than others, and it’s possible to block or stop the process.

In the state of hypnosis, clarity of thought and hyper-awareness are achieved easily, so that change can occur right there during the session. I’ve seen this happen many times. Clients come into my office stressed and confused, and leave an hour later—calmer, clearer, and with a renewed sense of direction. When that happens we know that it was the client’s powerful mind that achieved their success.

Here’s another fact: Hypnosis is science. It has nothing to do with belief or spirituality or physical conditioning. Using the proper technique according to the individual, hypnosis is achieved easily. When a person is hypnotized repeatedly, the induction becomes easier each time.

The fact that you are reading this article to the end indicates that you are open to being hypnotized and that you would be a good subject. You can learn to use self-hypnosis to improve your condition and become happier and more contented in life. The art and science of hypnosis are advancing rapidly, and a qualified hypnotist can help you change your mind—literally.